29 of best jokes on programming and software engineering
There are plenty of software engineering jokes out there on the web. Here are some funny ones:
Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.
Programmer – a machine that turns coffee into code.
How do you tell HTML from HTML5? Try it out in Internet Explorer. Did it work? No? It’s HTML5.
3 SQL databases walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out, because they couldn’t find a table.
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks, “Can I join you?”
“[“”hip””,””hip””]
(hip hip array!)”
What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
Inheritance.
To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
Two threads walk into a bar. The barkeeper looks up and yells, “Hey, I want don’t any conditions race like time last!”
Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn’t get arrays.
5 Errors walk into a bar. The barman says, “Normally I’d Throw you all out, but tonight I’ll make an Exception.”
Knock knock.
Race condition.
Who’s there?
Why do programmers always have to write code? Because without code, there would be nothing to debug!
I'm not a bug, I'm a feature!
There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
I'm not lazy, I'm just very efficient!
The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file.
When I wrote this code, only me and God knew how it worked. Now only God knows how to fix it.
If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would stay on the plane?
Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the victim.
Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.
Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for 'still doesn’t work.'
Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems available, they will create their own problems.
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.